dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
