I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
