who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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