That's intense
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
