Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
