I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize