She's JV to your varsity
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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