wrigley field is MILF paradise
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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