Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
