i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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