just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize