I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
