I want to walk on stilts...naked
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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