I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
