I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
