We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
