Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
