Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This baby is an asshole
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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