oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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