I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dicks are not precious.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize