This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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