i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
