And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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