Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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