Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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