I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
