just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The Olympian is in my bed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
