He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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