the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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