And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
