so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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