if you like me you must not know who I am
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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