I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
