think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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