I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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