i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We got so high we made milksteak
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize