Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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