Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
