so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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