she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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