We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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