Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
