For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
