Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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