at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
