It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize