Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
