I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
