toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
