Already got asked if we're dating
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
