well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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