Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize