All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
COCAINE IS GR8
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize