Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
