U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
