Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
