Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
