Yo dont text me then not text me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize