Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
