ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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