she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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