They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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