I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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