What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
