i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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