I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
