Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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